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V.I.POTABLES:

Barney Will-bang-her $4.99

Sex on Ted's Bed $4.99

Frisk-Me Sour $4.99

Two Fingers of Scotch (note: I'm 1/4 Scottish) $4.99

Penis Colada $4.99


FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

Unclaimed Pizza Bagels $4.99
Accompanied by a lecture: "Jews and Italians: A History of Friendship"

Half a Bag of Pretzel Crisps / Crisp 18th Century French Literature Debate $4.99
The pretzels might be stale (I forgot to clip the bag) but the debate will be tres fraiche!

Francis Bacon & Eggs $4.99
Come for the late night breakfast, stay for the celebration of inductive reasoning and the scientific method!

Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich $4.99
$.40 off if you profess your other favorite pairing and why (ex: Gilbert & Sullivan, Pierre & Marie Curie, "The Iliad" & "The Odyssey.")

Puzzles Sampler $9.99
(1) pizza bagel, (1) pretzel crisp, (1) egg, (1/2) P, B & J, (1) Lecture on Jews and Italians, (1) 18th century French literature debate, (1) Francis Bacon philosophical theorem explanation

Gum $4.99
Much as we "chew" on important topics of the day at Puzzles, you'll be able to chew on this old pack of Juicy Fruit I found in the closet... (Look, I'm running out of food, okay?)
Bartender's Special
The Do-All-The-Work-For-Two-Idiots-Who-Think-They-Can-Run-A-Bar $499.99 One of Ted's antique cameras, (10) dress shirts from his closet, (1) key to his apartment, (17) of Barney's pornography website passwords, (1) Italian leather wallet with "Barney Stinson" ID